I Am No Hero
by Daniel Beadle - Thursday, September 6, 2007
"Every story seems to have its own hero, some singular character that always makes the right choices, or at least, choices that end up turning out to be right in the end. This character finds himself; he changes and evolves into something admirable."Usually.
"Unfortunately, my story has no heroes. It has protagonists, to be sure, but there are no characters with redeeming values. They might start out that way, but even that is an illusion.
"It’s funny how things start out with such promise. Before you know it, and this occurs quite rapidly, things falls apart. Everything that begins fresh goes stale. Characters with redeeming qualities become disgusting, and it doesn’t take long before their every action is repulsive to the point that it can no longer be observed on a full stomach.
"I haven’t had a good night sleep in weeks. I can’t fully explain how much I hate who I am. I am that character, the necessary protagonist. I’m no hero. This story is just being told from my point of view.
"I thought I was evolving, or growing into a better man. I thought life would become exponentially meaningful.
"All I have discovered is that each passing day is less meaningful than the one before it. It becomes hard to pull myself out of bed. My thoughts are lost in the past, which has now been colored a bright shade of pink, or whatever the hell color happiness takes.
"I’m so tired.
"I just want to die."
“There is no creature loves me... And if I die, no soul shall pity me.”—William Shakespeare
