The Legend of Joel Riggins part 3: Beat Her About the Brow
by Daniel Beadle - Monday, August 27, 2007
Donnie takes a perfunctory glance at himself in the vanity mirror above the passenger seat. The gel from the previous night is still holding his short blonde hair in some semblance of style. He flips the visor back into place, just as Joel hands him the freshly packed bowl.“I’m telling you, guy… that has to be one of the hottest things a girl’s ever said to me.”
Joel, leaning forward in his seat, laughs in surprise. “’I want you inside of me’? Are you kidding? That’s the last thing I want to hear from a girl.”
“No, think about it, guy. It’s primal. It’s like she’s begging for your seed.”
“PAH!”
Even Donnie is amused by his last comment. “Why? What turns you on, Riggins?”
“Let me tell you something: If a girl says ‘I want you inside of me…’ that’s just gross. No, what I want is a girl who’ll let me beat her about the brow.”
Donnie shakes his head as Joel continues. “’Cause you gotta figure, if a girl will let you just do this,” Joel starts slapping and massaging his face. “…With your cock, that means she’s pretty much up for anything.”
“This from a kid who bangs fat chicks.”
Joel shrugs. He takes another drag from the bowl.
“Alright Riggins, I’m gonna let you in on something here, because I’m a nice guy these days.”
“These days? What, since just now?”
Donnie ignores the comment. “I was talking to Jamie last night, and her friend… You remember Caitlin Briggs?”
“Yeah, she was a freshman when we were seniors, right?”
“Yeah, Andy Briggs’s younger sister. Well anyway, she and Jamie might stop by at your new place tomorrow night. Which reminds me…” Donnie reaches in his pocket. “Did I show you this yet?” He pulls out his Nokia cell phone and presses a few buttons.
“What’s that? Your weekend with that biker chick?”
“Yeah guy. The one we met at Sorrento’s.” Donnie passes his phone to Joel. On screen is a point of view video of two sweaty crotches colliding. The sounds of a girl moaning, as well as the sloppy, wet slapping sounds of sex accompany the clip. Donnie begins laughing.
“Jeeze,” says Joel with a disgusted smirk.
“She said she wanted me inside of her.” Donnie’s laugh turns hysterical.
NEXT: BILL STEVENS, AKA T-REX
